free=time

i'm exhausted. can't think straight. whenever i have free time i freak out and end up spending an hour meaninglessly on facebook. fuck facebook..it keeps me distracted from my lovely free time that i so rarely get.
i'm exhausted.. which makes me a tad sad.. and it doesnt help that bebuh's not around.
just watched a House episode..and the woman he was helping was in an 'open marriage'. of course i was invested because i have once been in an open relationship.
i know that there is no equation to relationships.. but..
if open marriages and honesty don't work
and monogamy doesnt work..
then what is there?
love?
if there is only love.. then you are ignorant. that's how i see it i guess.

i trust damian with all my heart. and i'm sincerely learning from his honesty.
i think thats why i'm doing so well with him being away.. i trust him. i'm not worried.
if he does sleep with someone.. i can't be angry. he's told me that he wants to experience other people.. and he told me he'd tell me if he's interested in someone. thats all i can ask for
we're young.
i know age is just an age
but its realistic.
i love him.. and care about him and i know that when/if we spend the rest of our lives together..he's going to cherish me like i've never known. i want that.. i want to be loved like he loves me.. its amazing.


it's just so hard for me not to feel damaged.